A tribe… family we choose

I mentioned the profound love I felt for a newborn as being my catalyst for change but that suggests I don’t love the other children in my life as much.  For sure there is something primal about your own child giving birth when you’re there to witness it, the continuation of your lineage.  Sometimes there are no words because the experience is somatic, it’s got its own release of ‘feel good’ when you simply engage the mind in how wonderful it all is.

For most of us it’s a given, we love our family, they can be the most unlikely bunch when you put them together, they certainly wouldn’t pick each other out to hang around with, so why is that?  Why do we end up with siblings we have very little in common with, relatives that test our patience, in-laws we despise!   I’ve pondered the ‘mirror’ theory – we’re all offering an opportunity for self-reflection…

What about the family you do choose?  My daughter asked me once when referring to her 14 year old friend ‘could you love him like a son?’ I said sure.  To be honest there’s not very much I refused my daughter whether she was looking for money to save someone’s eyesight, pay for a child’s education, or hire the worse home help in the world (dear Marlie, she broke more than she cleaned!), I normally gave in and helped her to help those less fortunate.  At this point I have to say we were not wealthy but somehow I managed to stretch what we had to reach out beyond our own needs.

So this boy, now 30 is definitely part of my family and his gorgeous children, all 3 of them know me only as their grannie; they will no doubt grow one day to ask how come their grannie has white skin, Scottish heritage and is not the natural parent to their mother or father, but right now the bond is love and the bond will survive those questions

It doesn’t end there as there is another son, also almost 30, now with a baby on the way, grandchild number 6.  Again, there is no logical explanation for why this relationship exists, unless you look at connection on an energetic level.

What is it that is so valuable about this global family?  On a micro level we experience and overcome the problems that are affecting humanity as a whole.  We are multi-national, multi-cultural and yet we co-exist in peace, with respect and love.  Amongst us we are Scottish, Emirati, Thai, Yemeni and Sudanese; the privileged to the terrorist and everything in between – by popular opinion of course, and yet we’re a family.

I lived in Dubai for almost 20 years and folks thought I must be wealthy; I had periods when I was better off than others but for the most part I supported this extended family and money in the bank wasn’t a driver.   For what can only be considered a brief moment in time, I had all the nice things at once, the large house, the Bentley, the Rolex , Chanel, Louis Vuitton… but it came with stringent terms and conditions.  I will give you this and I will love you if you do this and behave this way and look like this….. but if you don’t I will take it away and give it to someone else.

It could be argued that you must make your own money generate your own wealth so you may never have the rug pulled from under your feet, but it could be argued that this is not wealth, that wealth is realising the value of relationships that are not dependent on what you give in order to receive.

I am extremely wealthy, I have 5 small children who shower me unconditional love, I have 3 big kids and their partners who (I believe) value my guidance – there is after all nothing smart about repeating the mistakes I’ve already made!

Of course it’s important to have a comfortable life and this is where I witness the injustice of the passport lottery first hand.  I have a daughter who can travel anywhere with her UK passport, she has a husband who couldn’t visit his new born in the UK because he’s Sudanese and was refused entry.  I have an Emirati son with mixed heritage who was not afforded the privileges of a ‘pure’ Emirati in his career, then there is the Yemeni, who pretty much can’t go anywhere and will always be paid around a quarter of what the Emirati will be paid because his kind are struggling to obtain residency anywhere on the planet!

I’m not sure number one son fully comprehends the struggles and injustice number two son faces, I’m not sure number two son felt compassion for the son in law who missed bonding with his new-born because at that time some of his relatives were missing feared dead in Yemen.  Not for one minute am I suggesting that I’ve found a formula for world peace but I have nurtured a family and there are 5, soon to be 6, mixed race children spending summers together with their white Scottish grannie in the Highlands of Scotland; they are raised with love and tolerance and they will each grow to understand the tribulations facing the other and they will naturally choose change.  They will desire a world with freedom of movement and an end to the passport lottery.

I look at the choice I made as a soul incarnating into the body of a white Scottish woman – don’t get me wrong I could have made a better choice – I faced adversity by the shed load but I never faced prejudice.   If my theory is correct and we choose where we will end up then I’m surrounded by game changers, every single one of them have chosen mixed-race and the dilution will continue into the next generation.  How beautiful is it to be the expression of the creators’ gene pool – to take the black skin with the white, the round blue eyes with the narrow brown, the curly hair with the straight and the product… the most beautiful children you’ve ever seen.  And they are children who cannot judge because they are the embodiment of change themselves.

If I’m head of a family of trailblazers then my purpose it to pave the way for them.   Why do I study quantum physics, neuroscience, bioenergetics medicine, why home-schooling over mainstream?  The opportunity to nurture a young human to be free to express themselves, armed with the awareness of their individual power, their connectedness to source and access to healing is huge.   If those same kids take back what’s rightfully theirs, access to healthy foods, saying no to poisoned crops and drugged livestock, finding alternatives to corrupt banking systems and unfair taxes,  treating cause instead of symptoms in healthcare, we’re one step closer to utopia.   This is such an exciting time to be alive; as it is I’d like to live to be 104 – to attend Kai’s 50th – but honestly if every day were to last as long as 3 days it wouldn’t be enough for me.  Every day has the potential to be really amazing and if it’s not for you then my advice would be to visit your values, find your big WHY.  Why do you want to be the best version of you that you possibly can be?

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About Karen Shirlaw

Helping people fulfil their true potential and master resiliency.